Quick quiz

The Chinese designate an animal under a twelve-year rotating cycle.
Can you list the twelve animals?

Answers CHINESE ANIMAL ZODIAC

What is a Homograph

Homographs  are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is  also pronounced differently is a heteronym.
You think English is  easy??

Learn and Laugh with Homographs

Poetry for pleasure

Here is a poem submitted by Janet Freeman, written by her son, John. Those of you who live in and around Welton will recognise some of the descriptions.

The Public Footpath

Just for Fun

We can get out more, even meet indoors. For those other times, here are some less serious items.

Two for One

Just a Dream
Bill and George were enjoying their regular Thursday evening drink in the pub when the topic turned to dreams.
‘Last night I dreamed I was fishing in the Lake District’ said Bill. ‘It was just me and my rod and a big, beautiful Lake. What a dream!’
‘I had a dream too,’ said George. ‘I dreamed I was out with two gorgeous young women having the time of my life.’
‘Hey!’ cried Bill, really hurt, ‘You dreamt you were with two gorgeous young women and you didn’t call me?’
‘I did’ said George, ‘But your wife said you had gone fishing.’

Free Choice  (Say it out loud)

‘I say, I say, I say, my wife has gone to the West Indies.’
‘ Jamaica?’
‘No she went of her own free will.’

The Washington Post Neologism Competition

Every year The Washington Post runs an annual competition in which the readers of the newspaper are asked to submit alternative meanings to existing words. The results are often extremely amusing. Here are examples of  Washington Post neologisms:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulance (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.